Author Archives: Gillian

What I’m Reading

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Each year, I keep a list of the books I’ve read. The main list is in the back of each journal, however, I also decided to keep the list on this site. The blog list might be a more accurate representation of how much I read in a year as it is organized by year; the journal lists are sorted by life of journal (which is not by year).

All of that is to say that you can read my completed 2009 list here or find the link on the side bar. I just missed beating 2008 (we ended in a tie): I finished a book on New Years Day. If I hadn’t spent all of Christmas Day finishing my knitting, I probably would have passed last years mark. At any rate, I once again met my goal of a book a week (text books not included, though they probably should be).

Book List 2010

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  1. More Ready Than You Realize – Brian McLaren
  2. Cascadia: The Elusive Utopia – Douglas Todd (ed.)
  3. Before the Rooster Crows – Peter Kimani
  4. Assessment in Counselling – Albert Hood and Richard Johnson
  5. Generation X – Douglas Coupland
  6. The Wayfinders – Wade Davis
  7. Non-Violent Communication – Marshall Rosenberg
  8. Heavy Rotation – Peter Terzian
  9. Traveling Mercies – Anne Lamott
  10. Community: The Structure of Belonging – Peter Block
  11. Striving for the Wind – Meja Mwangi
  12. A New Kind of Christianity – Brian McLaren
  13. Sylvia – Bryce Coutenay
  14. The Way of the Heart – Henri Nouwen
  15. I and Thou – Martin Buber

My My Time Flies

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“My! My! Time Flies!”

My! My! Time flies! One step and we’re on the moon, next step into the stars
My! My! Time flies! Maybe we could be there soon, a one way ticket to mars

My! My! Time flies! A man underneath a tree, an apple falls on his head
My my time flies a man wrote a symphony, it’s 1812

My! My! Time flies! Four guys across abbey road, one forgot to wear shoes
My! My! Time flies! A rap on a rhapsody, a king who’s still in the news, a king to sing you the blues

My! My! Time flies! A man in a winter sleigh, white white white as the snow
My! My! Time flies! A new day is on its way, so let’s let yesterday go
Could be we step out again
Could be tomorrow but then,
Could be 2010

-Enya

Re-Reading Christmas | (Mis)telling Mary’s Story

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The following readings were developed by Brandon Morgan for the VOID event “Mothers of God” (December 6, 2009).

The introductory reading was offered at the very beginning of the event:

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, ‘Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.’ But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a child. This child will be great, and will be called God and of God’s kingdom there will be no end.’ Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I am a virgin?’ The angel said to her, ‘The power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; and will be called God.

The three concluding readings were offered one after the other (read by three different individuals) toward the end of the event:

Reading 1

The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son. This child will be great, and will be called God and of God’s kingdom there will be no end.’ Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I am a virgin?’ The angel said to her, ‘The power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; and will be called God.

Then Mary said, “I’m sorry, but I am not the servant of the Lord. I cannot do what you have asked because I do not believe that what you say can happen.” The angel, surprised and perplexed, said to Mary, “But you have found favor in the eyes of God? If you do not let the Most High overshadow you, then God will not be born and God’s kingdom will not begin.” Mary said, “I don’t have the strength or the will to conceive God as you have asked. I don’t desire for God to be here as you have mistakenly hoped. I do not want to be the mother of this God. My womb is closed.” Then the angel said sadly, “Let it be with you according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

Reading 2

The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a child. This child will be great, and will be called God and of God’s kingdom there will be no end.’ Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I am a virgin?’ The angel said to her, ‘The power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; and will be called God.

Then Mary said, ‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’ Then the angel departed from her. Joseph, her husband, went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem. He went with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. But while they were there, Mary ceased to feel the child alive inside of her womb. There was no longer any kicking or moving, as if the child was no longer alive. When the time came for her to give birth to her firstborn child, the baby came without breath and was dead. Mary wept bitterly because the God that she had hoped to birth did not survive. She wrapped the child in bands of cloth, and laid the child in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Reading 3

The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a child. The child will be great, and will be called God and of God’s kingdom there will be no end.’ Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I am a virgin?’ The angel said to her, ‘The power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called God.

Then Mary said, ‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’ Then the angel departed from her. Joseph went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem. He went with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. But during the birth, Mary’s body could not bear the labor. The pain and anguish overtook her body. Though she was willing to birth God, she was not strong enough to survive. Mary died giving birth to God. And Joseph wept bitterly because the child lived and Mary did not. He wrapped the child in bands of cloth, and laid the child in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Of Western-ness and Burning Bushes

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I recently stumbled upon something – a letter about a part of the Creed – I wrote in January 2007. I liked it and thought to share it:

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
The holy, catholic church,
The communion of saints,
The forgiveness of sins,
The resurrection of the body,
And the life everlasting. Amen

I believe in the Holy Spirit…
Why does Jesus get so many lines in the creed and the Holy Spirit just one?
The Holy Spirit always seems to get the short end of the stick in discussions involving the Trinity. The academic part of me knows this may be because Jesus was the “hot topic” of the day when the creed was written; with all the heresies abounding to claim him as one thing or another there was a need for a unifying statement of faith. But the other part of me thinks that surely the Holy Spirit deserves more than just an “I believe in the Holy Spirit”. Is not the Holy Spirit one of the more real aspects of the Trinity for us today? We can’t see God the Father or Jesus directly (although I suppose we don’t actually see the Holy Spirit either), but in terms of the Holy Spirit, we often speak of experiencing him in a real way in our daily lives. Jesus told his disciples when he left that he would send his Holy Spirit to them, and, by extension, to us. So if the Holy Spirit is with us on a daily basis, it should merit much more in the way of discussion than just a single line!
Frequently the Holy Spirit misses out in discussions and the like because we don’t really understand him. However, do we understand God either? Or Jesus? I suppose if faith depended on understanding, I would be out of luck. I do know, however, that we would be lost but for the presence of the Holy Spirit.

The holy, catholic church
One of the things I have loved when travelling is visiting other churches. I love the catholic-ness, the worldwide-ness of the church and family of God; I love how the same God may be encountered worldwide by people of different nationalities and traditions. It was this catholic-ness of the church that really opened my Chinese language partner’s eyes this summer when she realised that Christianity was not exclusively a Western religion, but was and is worldwide. It is this catholic-ness that I experienced this year when I was communing in a multinational missionary church service in Xining, China; a Danish service in Copenhagen; a German service in Wolfsburg; a Dutch service in Amsterdam; an English-German service in Freiburg; an English service in London; a French service in Montreal; and the fellowship of my own part of the body in Victoria. Wow! We were all reading from the same Bible and speaking of the same God – sometimes even singing the same songs tho in different languages. This is truly The Communion of saints in a world-wide manner. The ideal, which, sadly, is often not realised, is a worldwide church; not divided or segregated from itself but set apart for God as holy.

The forgiveness of sins
Where would I be if this was not so?!? I do not want to contemplate.

The resurrection of the body, And the life everlasting.
I look forward to it.
I have been rereading one of my favourite trilogies this week and it has been like sitting down with an old friend. It is one that belonged to my mum and that is probably part of the value of it to me – her notes are on many of the pages and reading it is a glimpse into her thoughts which I don’t otherwise get anymore. In it, the author talks of our oneness, not as a group of people, but as a self. The oneness of ourself and our being. What she speaks of is what I look forward to at the resurrection of the
body.

The burning bush: somehow I visualize it as much like one of these blueberry bushes. The bush burned, was alive with flame and was not consumed. Why? Isn’t it because, as a bush, it was perfect? It was exactly as a bush is meant to be. A bush doesn’t have the opportunity for prideful and selfish choices, for self-destruction, that we human beings do. It is. It is a pure example of ontolgy. Ecology — ontology — the words fascinate me. Ontology is one of my son-in-law’s favourite words, and I’m apt to get drunk on words, to go on jags; ontology is my jag for this summer, and I’m grateful to Alan for it — as for so much else. Ontology: the word about the essence of things; the word about being.
I go into the brook because I get out of being, out of the essential. So I’m not like the bush, then. I put all my prickliness, selfishness, in-turnness, onto my isness; we all tend to, and when we burn, this part of us is consumed. When I go past the tallest blueberry bush, where my twine is tied to one of the branches, I think that the part of us that has to be burned away is something like the deadwood on the bush; it has to go, to be burned in the terrible fire of reality, until there is nothing left but our ontological selves; what we are meant to be. (A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L’Engle)

Nothing left but our ontological selves. What we are meant to be.

Amen. So be it.

Grace and peace,
Gillian

Two Letters

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To: The two young mums sitting in front of me at church this evening.

I know we didn’t get a chance to talk, and I regret that, but I wanted to tell you that you have some very adorable little boys. The young one sitting directly in front of me, how old was he? Two? Three? His big brown eyes were open with such wonder and his excitement at the pipe organ and candles was beautiful to see. I think that is where the phrase “wide-eyed wonder” comes from. I am guessing, from his reaction to everything, that you don’t come to church very often. I’m glad you came tonight for the Nine Lessons and Carols service! It was pretty full, there must have been 800-900 people there. I’ve been slow at getting into the “Christmas Spirit” this year, but your children reminded me of what it should be like – wide-eyed with excitement at the joy and wonder of Christmas.

I wish I had taken the opportunity to lean over during a carol and whisper to you that not all people at church are like the two old ladies sitting directly in front of you. I was happy you were there and would love to see you another Sunday if you choose to come back again. I hope you didn’t feel pushed aside when someone mentioned the soft-space for kids at the back of the sanctuary. It is more kid friendly back there and your boys probably enjoyed themselves more. Were you still able to enjoy the service from there? I wasn’t enjoying it much after you left, and I was still in my seat, close to the front, with a good view of the choir and the readers. I was troubled by how you were treated and I hope that you don’t think that is how all church people are. Most of us are loving and welcoming and would be overjoyed to have young families like both of yours join us on a regular basis.

If I ever see you at church again, I promise I will come over and talk to you and I hope you have a better second experience.

To: The two old ladies sitting two rows in front of me, directly in front of the two young mums.

Have you no idea what you did tonight? Do you really think that repeated turning around to loudly “shush” a two year old is going to make your church service better? Is cursing the toddler’s mother really the way for you or her to hear the Good News of the birth of Jesus?

I was so embarrassed for you. I wanted to take you aside after the service and humiliate you the way you humiliated them. But I didn’t. I did not think that would be the best option and since I could not think of a good way to word things, I let it be.

But I still wonder, did you listen to any of the Scripture readings tonight? What about the short paragraph before each reading. I’m talking about the parts describing the marginalized and downtrodden in society; how they were the the one’s God chose to appear to, not the high-and-mighty religious folk snug in their pews every Sunday. Sound familiar? I know that you like everything to be “just so” and that the little boy’s squeals of delight over the new sights and sounds of church were too out of the ordinary and disruptive to your comfortable little church life. Did it ever occur to you that the reason why Jesus came was to hang out with the people you just cursed? Has it occurred to you that your actions may have pushed two people and, by extension, their children, away from church? Is it any wonder that our churches are shrinking when folks like you are doing your best to scare people away?

Please, don’t ever let me catch you doing anything like that again at my church. Next time I don’t think I will be able to contain myself.

Image Rehab

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We have two “Christian Book Stores” in Victoria. Or at least two that I am aware of. One is a small storefront downtown and largely serves the Catholic population and, to some extent, the Anglicans. The other is a large store out near the biggest mall in town and is one of those all-encompassing book, music, card, magazine, random Christian paraphernalia stores. One is used by just the Catholics and some Anglicans, the other is visited by nearly every other Christian in town.

Today, I was at the latter. In preparation for the previously mentioned very exciting upcoming conference, I’d ordered in a book that I’d like to do a study on at church. My reasoning is that it is a good idea for the congregation to have some exposure to an author/speaker before he does a conference we expect them to attend. I ended up (luck of the draw? or divine intervention?) being helped at the cash by the owner of the store. As he was ringing up my purchase I mentioned that Brian McLaren was coming to Victoria and would he be willing to put up a poster at the store for us when they are made and we begin promotions. The conversation that followed convinced me of one thing: Anglicans need to do some serious image-management.

“So, Brian McLaren’s going to be coming to town in the spring to do a conference. Once I’ve got a poster made up, would you be willing to put one up here at the store?” I asked.

He replied, “Brian McLaren’s coming? Who’s hosting it?”

“Christ Church Cathedral”

“Christ Chu… What?” Shock. Disbelief. Confusion. All were fairly evident in facial expression and tone of voice.

I tried to clarify, but how much clearer could I be? There is only one Christ Church Cathedral in town. “Christ Church Cathedral. Downtown. The Anglican Cathedral…”

“But, who’s hosting it? I mean, who’s putting the event on? Who’s bringing him in?” He still doesn’t understand.

“The adult education committee at the Cathedral is hosting and has invited him.” That’s right – still Christ Church Cathedral… I’m not changing my answer any time soon here.

“Is anyone coming with him?” Yes, the Archbishop of Canterbury. Would that make it easier to understand that Brian is coming to an Anglican church?

“Yes, Steve Bell will be doing the music for the conference and a concert at the Cathedral on the Saturday night.”

Now we’re on more familiar ground: “Oh, Steve Bell! He didn’t come this year – he normally comes every year. Good. Sure, you can hang a poster. Do you need a book table at the conference? Because we can provide that. And help with promotions.”

Phewf.

Why is it so hard to imagine an Anglican church bringing in an emergent church thinker/speaker/writer? Can we not be on the forefront of re-imagining how we do church? Is that sort of thing limited to a specific denomination or group of the Christian church? I don’t think so. It is unfortunate that certain parts of it have the reputation of being traditional or unchanging. Certainly aspects are. But aspects of all institutions are fairly unchanging – the Anglican church is not alone amongst churches in that regard. There are exciting things happening in the global Anglican church as well as locally in our diocese. I was at a meeting this evening discussing the starting of some of these things. Perhaps an inter-denominational, ecumenical conference hosted at the Cathedral will be a way of opening ourselves up to the wider community and shattering some of those images.

Conspiracy Confusion & Consternation

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It is the Saturday before Christmas. Today, I was walking around outside in just my jeans and a hoodie. My bare feet were quite happy inside my sandal-shoes and my bare fingers were not cold in the slightest. It does not feel like Christmas.

Last year this time, we had more snow than we knew what to do with. This year, it is mild and might rain. Oh, how things change.

For a few days there, I was getting into the “Christmas Spirit,” whatever that means; I had a little more excitement and anticipation than I remember having last year. Now that has been replaced by the chaos of the last week as I hurry to write/submit my final paper, scurry around to finish last minute preparations to head over Vancouver for Christmas, wrap up some church commitments, and maintain my usual level of work/church/other activity.

Last night, we went to see the Messiah. It was a beautiful performance of some of my favourite music. It brought back memories of performing the Young Messiah with my elementary school choir and of making Christmas gifts aboard ship in Papua New Guinea. It helped to get me in the frame of mind of Christmas. But then this morning I passed one of the malls and all the parking spots looked full. At 9:40 in the morning. How discouraging.

I’ve been a part of a group encouraging people within church to participate in Advent Conspiracy but at the same time, I’ve been caught up in the quest to find the perfect gift for the one person on my list for whom I haven’t yet found something. How easy it is to loose perspective. I am reminded of something a friend wrote the other day. It was a good reminder then and is a great reminder now; In the hubbub of crass commercialism and my resultant desire to withdraw from Christmas altogether I cannot forget to hold on to why we have Christmas in the first place.

Coming Soon…

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Real post coming soon (I swear!). The last couple of weeks have been a flurry of activity with me trying to write 2 papers (10 pages and 20 pages), complete 2 assignments, and get all the reading done before the end of my course for Christmas (done today!).

I’ve also managed to get myself onto about half of the committees at church, well, just 2 but it seems like a lot! I also ended up being in the Sunday School Christmas pageant this past Sunday. It was great fun, not having been in a pageant since I was somewhere around the age of 12 (@ St Thomas’). Between all of that and Advent service prep, its been busy.

One of the committees I’ve managed to get on is the Adult Faith and Development Committee. That’s a long, fancy way of saying that they plan Bible/book studies for the church and plan a (biannual?) conference. This conference is the reason I’ve been asked to join the committee. It seems I’m one of the only ones who is very familiar with the work of our two guests and they thought I should be involved. Given the guests, I am very happy to be involved!

Who are these people, you ask? The sessions will be led and facilitated by Brian McLaren with music by Steve Bell. The conference will be the last weekend in May, 2010 (May 28-29), hosted at Christ Church Cathedral, Victoria. It isn’t meant to be a closed, cathedral-only conference though. Anyone who wants to come can attend.

For more info, you can check out our website – it will be updated with registration info and tickets info for the Steve Bell concert as it becomes available.

Humanitarian Crises: Who Cares?

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This article appeared in my Reader Feed. In it, the author talks about how to save the world. Literally.

Like why is it so difficult to motivate people to care about the crises going on around us? We can inspire fear and guilt all we want, but it doesn’t seem to change a thing. The author’s theory is based on a quote from Mother Theresa: “If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.”

Interesting thoughts. Read the article. Then act.