Tag Archives: life

Of Western-ness and Burning Bushes

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I recently stumbled upon something – a letter about a part of the Creed – I wrote in January 2007. I liked it and thought to share it:

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
The holy, catholic church,
The communion of saints,
The forgiveness of sins,
The resurrection of the body,
And the life everlasting. Amen

I believe in the Holy Spirit…
Why does Jesus get so many lines in the creed and the Holy Spirit just one?
The Holy Spirit always seems to get the short end of the stick in discussions involving the Trinity. The academic part of me knows this may be because Jesus was the “hot topic” of the day when the creed was written; with all the heresies abounding to claim him as one thing or another there was a need for a unifying statement of faith. But the other part of me thinks that surely the Holy Spirit deserves more than just an “I believe in the Holy Spirit”. Is not the Holy Spirit one of the more real aspects of the Trinity for us today? We can’t see God the Father or Jesus directly (although I suppose we don’t actually see the Holy Spirit either), but in terms of the Holy Spirit, we often speak of experiencing him in a real way in our daily lives. Jesus told his disciples when he left that he would send his Holy Spirit to them, and, by extension, to us. So if the Holy Spirit is with us on a daily basis, it should merit much more in the way of discussion than just a single line!
Frequently the Holy Spirit misses out in discussions and the like because we don’t really understand him. However, do we understand God either? Or Jesus? I suppose if faith depended on understanding, I would be out of luck. I do know, however, that we would be lost but for the presence of the Holy Spirit.

The holy, catholic church
One of the things I have loved when travelling is visiting other churches. I love the catholic-ness, the worldwide-ness of the church and family of God; I love how the same God may be encountered worldwide by people of different nationalities and traditions. It was this catholic-ness of the church that really opened my Chinese language partner’s eyes this summer when she realised that Christianity was not exclusively a Western religion, but was and is worldwide. It is this catholic-ness that I experienced this year when I was communing in a multinational missionary church service in Xining, China; a Danish service in Copenhagen; a German service in Wolfsburg; a Dutch service in Amsterdam; an English-German service in Freiburg; an English service in London; a French service in Montreal; and the fellowship of my own part of the body in Victoria. Wow! We were all reading from the same Bible and speaking of the same God – sometimes even singing the same songs tho in different languages. This is truly The Communion of saints in a world-wide manner. The ideal, which, sadly, is often not realised, is a worldwide church; not divided or segregated from itself but set apart for God as holy.

The forgiveness of sins
Where would I be if this was not so?!? I do not want to contemplate.

The resurrection of the body, And the life everlasting.
I look forward to it.
I have been rereading one of my favourite trilogies this week and it has been like sitting down with an old friend. It is one that belonged to my mum and that is probably part of the value of it to me – her notes are on many of the pages and reading it is a glimpse into her thoughts which I don’t otherwise get anymore. In it, the author talks of our oneness, not as a group of people, but as a self. The oneness of ourself and our being. What she speaks of is what I look forward to at the resurrection of the
body.

The burning bush: somehow I visualize it as much like one of these blueberry bushes. The bush burned, was alive with flame and was not consumed. Why? Isn’t it because, as a bush, it was perfect? It was exactly as a bush is meant to be. A bush doesn’t have the opportunity for prideful and selfish choices, for self-destruction, that we human beings do. It is. It is a pure example of ontolgy. Ecology — ontology — the words fascinate me. Ontology is one of my son-in-law’s favourite words, and I’m apt to get drunk on words, to go on jags; ontology is my jag for this summer, and I’m grateful to Alan for it — as for so much else. Ontology: the word about the essence of things; the word about being.
I go into the brook because I get out of being, out of the essential. So I’m not like the bush, then. I put all my prickliness, selfishness, in-turnness, onto my isness; we all tend to, and when we burn, this part of us is consumed. When I go past the tallest blueberry bush, where my twine is tied to one of the branches, I think that the part of us that has to be burned away is something like the deadwood on the bush; it has to go, to be burned in the terrible fire of reality, until there is nothing left but our ontological selves; what we are meant to be. (A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L’Engle)

Nothing left but our ontological selves. What we are meant to be.

Amen. So be it.

Grace and peace,
Gillian

Two Letters

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To: The two young mums sitting in front of me at church this evening.

I know we didn’t get a chance to talk, and I regret that, but I wanted to tell you that you have some very adorable little boys. The young one sitting directly in front of me, how old was he? Two? Three? His big brown eyes were open with such wonder and his excitement at the pipe organ and candles was beautiful to see. I think that is where the phrase “wide-eyed wonder” comes from. I am guessing, from his reaction to everything, that you don’t come to church very often. I’m glad you came tonight for the Nine Lessons and Carols service! It was pretty full, there must have been 800-900 people there. I’ve been slow at getting into the “Christmas Spirit” this year, but your children reminded me of what it should be like – wide-eyed with excitement at the joy and wonder of Christmas.

I wish I had taken the opportunity to lean over during a carol and whisper to you that not all people at church are like the two old ladies sitting directly in front of you. I was happy you were there and would love to see you another Sunday if you choose to come back again. I hope you didn’t feel pushed aside when someone mentioned the soft-space for kids at the back of the sanctuary. It is more kid friendly back there and your boys probably enjoyed themselves more. Were you still able to enjoy the service from there? I wasn’t enjoying it much after you left, and I was still in my seat, close to the front, with a good view of the choir and the readers. I was troubled by how you were treated and I hope that you don’t think that is how all church people are. Most of us are loving and welcoming and would be overjoyed to have young families like both of yours join us on a regular basis.

If I ever see you at church again, I promise I will come over and talk to you and I hope you have a better second experience.

To: The two old ladies sitting two rows in front of me, directly in front of the two young mums.

Have you no idea what you did tonight? Do you really think that repeated turning around to loudly “shush” a two year old is going to make your church service better? Is cursing the toddler’s mother really the way for you or her to hear the Good News of the birth of Jesus?

I was so embarrassed for you. I wanted to take you aside after the service and humiliate you the way you humiliated them. But I didn’t. I did not think that would be the best option and since I could not think of a good way to word things, I let it be.

But I still wonder, did you listen to any of the Scripture readings tonight? What about the short paragraph before each reading. I’m talking about the parts describing the marginalized and downtrodden in society; how they were the the one’s God chose to appear to, not the high-and-mighty religious folk snug in their pews every Sunday. Sound familiar? I know that you like everything to be “just so” and that the little boy’s squeals of delight over the new sights and sounds of church were too out of the ordinary and disruptive to your comfortable little church life. Did it ever occur to you that the reason why Jesus came was to hang out with the people you just cursed? Has it occurred to you that your actions may have pushed two people and, by extension, their children, away from church? Is it any wonder that our churches are shrinking when folks like you are doing your best to scare people away?

Please, don’t ever let me catch you doing anything like that again at my church. Next time I don’t think I will be able to contain myself.

Image Rehab

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We have two “Christian Book Stores” in Victoria. Or at least two that I am aware of. One is a small storefront downtown and largely serves the Catholic population and, to some extent, the Anglicans. The other is a large store out near the biggest mall in town and is one of those all-encompassing book, music, card, magazine, random Christian paraphernalia stores. One is used by just the Catholics and some Anglicans, the other is visited by nearly every other Christian in town.

Today, I was at the latter. In preparation for the previously mentioned very exciting upcoming conference, I’d ordered in a book that I’d like to do a study on at church. My reasoning is that it is a good idea for the congregation to have some exposure to an author/speaker before he does a conference we expect them to attend. I ended up (luck of the draw? or divine intervention?) being helped at the cash by the owner of the store. As he was ringing up my purchase I mentioned that Brian McLaren was coming to Victoria and would he be willing to put up a poster at the store for us when they are made and we begin promotions. The conversation that followed convinced me of one thing: Anglicans need to do some serious image-management.

“So, Brian McLaren’s going to be coming to town in the spring to do a conference. Once I’ve got a poster made up, would you be willing to put one up here at the store?” I asked.

He replied, “Brian McLaren’s coming? Who’s hosting it?”

“Christ Church Cathedral”

“Christ Chu… What?” Shock. Disbelief. Confusion. All were fairly evident in facial expression and tone of voice.

I tried to clarify, but how much clearer could I be? There is only one Christ Church Cathedral in town. “Christ Church Cathedral. Downtown. The Anglican Cathedral…”

“But, who’s hosting it? I mean, who’s putting the event on? Who’s bringing him in?” He still doesn’t understand.

“The adult education committee at the Cathedral is hosting and has invited him.” That’s right – still Christ Church Cathedral… I’m not changing my answer any time soon here.

“Is anyone coming with him?” Yes, the Archbishop of Canterbury. Would that make it easier to understand that Brian is coming to an Anglican church?

“Yes, Steve Bell will be doing the music for the conference and a concert at the Cathedral on the Saturday night.”

Now we’re on more familiar ground: “Oh, Steve Bell! He didn’t come this year – he normally comes every year. Good. Sure, you can hang a poster. Do you need a book table at the conference? Because we can provide that. And help with promotions.”

Phewf.

Why is it so hard to imagine an Anglican church bringing in an emergent church thinker/speaker/writer? Can we not be on the forefront of re-imagining how we do church? Is that sort of thing limited to a specific denomination or group of the Christian church? I don’t think so. It is unfortunate that certain parts of it have the reputation of being traditional or unchanging. Certainly aspects are. But aspects of all institutions are fairly unchanging – the Anglican church is not alone amongst churches in that regard. There are exciting things happening in the global Anglican church as well as locally in our diocese. I was at a meeting this evening discussing the starting of some of these things. Perhaps an inter-denominational, ecumenical conference hosted at the Cathedral will be a way of opening ourselves up to the wider community and shattering some of those images.

Conspiracy Confusion & Consternation

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It is the Saturday before Christmas. Today, I was walking around outside in just my jeans and a hoodie. My bare feet were quite happy inside my sandal-shoes and my bare fingers were not cold in the slightest. It does not feel like Christmas.

Last year this time, we had more snow than we knew what to do with. This year, it is mild and might rain. Oh, how things change.

For a few days there, I was getting into the “Christmas Spirit,” whatever that means; I had a little more excitement and anticipation than I remember having last year. Now that has been replaced by the chaos of the last week as I hurry to write/submit my final paper, scurry around to finish last minute preparations to head over Vancouver for Christmas, wrap up some church commitments, and maintain my usual level of work/church/other activity.

Last night, we went to see the Messiah. It was a beautiful performance of some of my favourite music. It brought back memories of performing the Young Messiah with my elementary school choir and of making Christmas gifts aboard ship in Papua New Guinea. It helped to get me in the frame of mind of Christmas. But then this morning I passed one of the malls and all the parking spots looked full. At 9:40 in the morning. How discouraging.

I’ve been a part of a group encouraging people within church to participate in Advent Conspiracy but at the same time, I’ve been caught up in the quest to find the perfect gift for the one person on my list for whom I haven’t yet found something. How easy it is to loose perspective. I am reminded of something a friend wrote the other day. It was a good reminder then and is a great reminder now; In the hubbub of crass commercialism and my resultant desire to withdraw from Christmas altogether I cannot forget to hold on to why we have Christmas in the first place.

Coming Soon…

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Real post coming soon (I swear!). The last couple of weeks have been a flurry of activity with me trying to write 2 papers (10 pages and 20 pages), complete 2 assignments, and get all the reading done before the end of my course for Christmas (done today!).

I’ve also managed to get myself onto about half of the committees at church, well, just 2 but it seems like a lot! I also ended up being in the Sunday School Christmas pageant this past Sunday. It was great fun, not having been in a pageant since I was somewhere around the age of 12 (@ St Thomas’). Between all of that and Advent service prep, its been busy.

One of the committees I’ve managed to get on is the Adult Faith and Development Committee. That’s a long, fancy way of saying that they plan Bible/book studies for the church and plan a (biannual?) conference. This conference is the reason I’ve been asked to join the committee. It seems I’m one of the only ones who is very familiar with the work of our two guests and they thought I should be involved. Given the guests, I am very happy to be involved!

Who are these people, you ask? The sessions will be led and facilitated by Brian McLaren with music by Steve Bell. The conference will be the last weekend in May, 2010 (May 28-29), hosted at Christ Church Cathedral, Victoria. It isn’t meant to be a closed, cathedral-only conference though. Anyone who wants to come can attend.

For more info, you can check out our website – it will be updated with registration info and tickets info for the Steve Bell concert as it becomes available.

Spring!

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It feels like spring. Yesterday, Matthew and I had coffee before his class and then I walked home from the University. As I passed through the pathway that takes me from one major road to the residential area where I live, I noticed the sound of water dripping off of the trees and bushes, the birds were chirping and I could hear insects buzzing around the flowers. Spring! What a nice break in the midst of the grey and rain we’ve been having.

Oh, there have been small breaks: a bit of blue sky here and a peek of the sun there. But yesterday was a whole day of glorious blue sky and sunshine; today is shaping up to be more of the same.

I’ve dusted off the bicycle and I’m heading out to enjoy the beauty of Victoria.

Queue Jumping

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No one loves a queue jumper.

Queue jumping has reached a whole new level with the H1N1 outbreak/pandemic/hysteria. Yes, I’m going there, even after promising not to. With some provinces (ahem Alberta) promising not to prioritize and then running out and closing all vaccination clinics and other provinces having day-long waits at their clinics, it is a bit of chaos and mayhem. After health care workers have been trying to convince the public of the importance and safety of the shot, they are now having to tell their patients that they are not high risk and can wait a little longer.

That is why the outrage over queue jumping; professional athletes have been given H1N1 shots before high priority individuals. When there is a limited number of vaccinations to go around people are bound to be upset when a non-priority individual gets it ahead of someone else.

Which is why I’m reluctant to admit that I’ve been vaccinated. I’m not a child or a senior. I’m not pregnant and don’t have any respiratory problems. Yes, I work closely with the public in a health care-related setting, but it is an eye clinic not a medical clinic. I was not even sure if I wanted to get vaccinated: I don’t think that I am personally at high risk of the flu. I am careful about washing my hands and try to eat healthily and get enough sleep. However, each season a bug does circulate the office and takes out a number of people.

So why did I get it? I went to my travel doctor for a followup from our trip to Kenya and he, unprompted, asked me if I’d been vaccinated yet. I said I was not high priority. He gave me a vaccination.

I guess that makes me a queue-jumper. Sorry all of you high-priority people, but my doctor gave me an H1N1 vaccination ahead of you. How do I feel about it? I am glad not to have to be overly-cautious at work any more. I am happy I didn’t have to line up for hours to get vaccinated. I think I probably could have waited a few weeks until it was open season for vaccination. But now it is done and I have a sore arm to prove it.

Autumn on the Island

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Fall is here on the Island. I love the crisp, bright days and cool nights. The colours have been spectacular and it makes me happy to walk through the park with crunchy leaves underfoot watching the sun stream through leaves. There have been days of rain and mornings of fog, but they are just adding to the beauty of autumn in Victoria.

The Friday of Thanksgiving weekend, Matthew and I took Grebe out for a sail to move her from her summer location in Cadboro Bay to her winter dock in the Inner Harbour (right in front of the Empress). It was a lovely day and made even better by having the chance to say hi to friends on the Pacific Grace before heading out. Not only was the whole crew there to say hi to, but another friend was volunteering on that trip and one of the leaders was someone I knew from last season. It was a bit of a reunion of friends. Then we had a great sail, accompanied by both the Grace and the Pacific Swift (sort of… they were faster).

Intervening time has been spent with school, work, and various other things mixed in. School is coming along well, there is only a little more than a week remaining in my first course. While I have learnt very little in this course, it being a repetition of what I spent my undergrad learning, it has been a good refresher of material and a good way to get my feet back into school while learning a new [online] format. Dad and Colleen came over for a visit last week, bringing lots of boxes for me from my things still in Vancouver. I now have all my old textbooks here for reference. It was a great chance to catch up with them now that they are home from Kenya, and hear in person about how the remaining 3 months of their time went there.

What’s in a Name?

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At the coffee shop close to Matthew’s house, there is a name analysis book. Not one of those books with a million different names for your baby and a few words about each, but a page long personality profile based on the phoneme sounds that make up your name. Strangely enough, when reading the profile associated with Gillian (which, for the first time ever, was not grouped with Jillian), I found myself identifying with most of it – it was pretty much spot on. Even my middle name was fairly accurate.

This got me to thinking, what is in a name? Did I become my name, that is grow into what I have been named? Or did my parents just do an incredibly insightful job at picking my name because they are possessed with crazy super-powers? (I’ll let Dad comment on that last bit!) But seriously, we get called our names multiple times a day, whether by friends, family, coworkers, people at the store or the doctor’s office, telemarketers, to name a few. How we decide to or not to shorten our name can say many things about us (I will accept Gill as tolerable, but not Gilly, for example). How others refer to us can also say a lot. Remember the rhyme, “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me”? They do. I hated it when, as a kid, people called me “Jillian Jiggs” because 1) my room did NOT look like it was lived in by pigs (a periodically messy child, yes, but certainly not pigs) and 2) my name is certainly not spelt with a “J.” (Yes, I was anal about this from a young age!). At work, we sometime chuckle at strange names we come across and wonder about the parents who would bestow that upon their children. A name is a label that you are stuck with your whole life.

Unless you change your name. Like, for example, some famous Bible characters. Jacob comes to mind, Jacob the Deceiver. If anyone would want a name change, it would be someone like him. However, it took wrestling with God to get that name change, whereupon he became known as Israel. Then there was Simon who was renamed Peter or “Rock.”

So what is in a name? Do we become what we are called? Scary but profound implications for all of us and an encouragement to pay attention to what we call each other.