Author Archives: Gillian

Life Questions

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Perhaps I’ve been a little soon in my enthusiastic re-embrace of school life.  The fact of two “quizzes” (it shouldn’t be called a quiz when it is worth nearly 10% of your finally grade) next week has dawned on me. The fact that one of them seems daunting when it is meant to be on review material is somewhat frightening.

This week has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster that way. One minute I’m super excited to be back in the school environment of structured learning and the next I want out. The prospect of no alternative at the moment, however, keeps me in. It also makes me wonder if I should perhaps spend some more time contemplating Plan B. One should always have a Plan B (or so wise people have told me) and it is high time I began to think of one. If McGill/Nursing school doesn’t pan out, where should I go from there? It is both exciting and alarming to think about these things.

You can see the reasons behind my roller-coaster week as I’ve spent some time contemplating these kinds of questions. If you have thoughts, I would really love to hear them.

Getting my Exercise

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Yesterday ended up being quite the day. I was walking to my chiro appointment in the morning when work called me to see if I could come in that evening for a four hour shift. Since I haven’t worked in a month, who am I to turn that down?! As it was, however, the day was getting packed.

By the time I got home, I needed to leave about 45 min later to head up to the university to return some textbooks. (I’ve been able to borrow my anatomy text from a very wonderful person who has saved me $170.) Then it was down to the public library to return a couple of books (Anne Rice’s Called out of Darkness and Peter Hopkirk’s The Great Game that took me forever to read but was quite interesting) and pick up a hold that just came in. The latest addition to my must-read pile (made more urgent by being library books) is a new-ish one by Colleen McCullough, an author I’ve enjoyed in the past. The book is called The Independence of Miss Mary Bennet and is about Mary from Pride and Prejudice. Reviews have been mixed, so we’ll see how I like it.

From the library, I biked, on the new bike I purchased the day before the heavens opened with snow, out to the Saanich Police Station to get my criminal record check done so I can volunteer on the boat this summer. (Trip 3 y’all, be there.) The officer on duty just happened to be the same [very attractive] one who was on duty when I got my check done for work three months ago. He recognized me. My questioning whether or not it is okay to flirt with attractive cops who do your criminal record check has generated one of the most commented Facebook discussions I’ve ever had… The consensus is yes, it is just fine. In my defense, he initiated the conversation. I just kept it going… I guess I’ll look forward to going back next week to pick up the completed check.

I digress.  From the Police Station it is a fairly nice (but also partially uphill) bike ride to Royal Oak where I was visiting the wonderful Bonice (of the SALTS log fame). We enjoyed genuine Chinese jasmine tea and chocolate, just like old times in the stern of the Grace, until she had to meet the boys at the bus stop and I had to head back into Gordon Head for work. Whew. I had just enough time to grab a coffee at the new Starbucks in Gordon Head before getting to the home in time for my 4 hour shift. I decided coffee was necessary to make it through the evening. I did cause more than one motorist to double take in my general direction as I was biking down the road with my coffee in one hand.  Don’t worry, Dad, I was being safe. They were all backstreets and motorists do it all the time.

By the time I got home, it was nearly 8:30 pm and I did little else but check emails and collapse into bed with a wonderful book I’ve been lent: Organic Edge: Targeted Review to Ace Organic Chemistry. Apparently satisfaction is guaranteed.  I hope that means I’ll pass the course. I’ve never used one of those fancy books before, but I’m willing to do a lot to understand this stuff. Dredging up chemistry factoids from the deep, dark recesses of my brain where they’ve been decaying for the last 9 years is proving to be a challenge.

Despite all that exercise, I didn’t sleep as well as hoped last night. Probably because I currently have the sorest bum on the planet from all that cycling.

Pilgrimage

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I’ve been thinking a fair bit (off and on) about the idea of pilgrimage over the last few months. It was brought to the forefront of my attention once again on Sunday with the story on CBC Radio One’s Tapestry program. Then today this article from The Economist popped up in my RSS feed. It is discussing German pilgrimage sites (one of which I visited on my 2006 trip around Europe.)

The thing about pilgrimage, as expressed by Arthur Paul Boers on Tapestry (and if you haven’t listened to it yet, take a break and do it. It is very interesting), is that it allows us to more fully engage. Think about it: we live in a culture where we are not fully engaged in much of anything around us. We do things with our mind or our body (go through the motions… how often do you have the radio or TV on in the background while doing something else and only half pay attention to anything? I know I do it all the time) or our emotions are engaged but it is rare that you get all three working together at once. There is far too much distraction for that (iPod plugged in while reading/walking…). Pilgrimage engages all: mind/intellect, body, spirit, emotions.

Another way to say it: our culture is disconnected/fragmented and pilgrimage reunites and connects us both with ourselves and with others.
How does it do this? Again, referring back to the interview on Tapestry, by creating situations where the boundaries are different and you are able to get to know yourself and others on a whole new level.
There are lots of classic examples of pilgrimage. In medieval times, people would go to Cologne, Jerusalem, Rome, Canterbury (Chaucer anyone?), or Santiago de Compostela to name a few. Thousands, probably hundreds of thousands to millions of people make the annual hajj (pilgrimage) to Mecca.
So what is the deal? The American philosopher Albert Borgmann in his book Technology and the Character of Contemporary Life (one of the books I’m currently plugging through) speaks of Focal Places, Things, and Practices when discussing the fragmentation of our lives (specifically in relation to technology). These focals have three qualities:
  1. Commanding presence, that is they demand discipline, take exercise, and tire us out.
  2. Meaningfully connect us to others, to our history, to the environment, and, I would add, to ourselves.
  3. Have centering/orienting power by helping to remind us of what is most important.
Unfortunately, these are becoming rapidly pushed out of the centre of our lives into the background, leading to our disoriented lives.
I then got to thinking on pilgrimages in my own life and realized that Offshore was a pilgrimage of sorts. There was not the idea of the body being used to express something of the soul that you would get in a walking pilgrimage like the Camino del Santiago, however other aspects were certainly there. The previously mentioned idea of pilgrimage creating situations where the boundaries are different and you enabling people to know the self and others on a whole new level was and is key to the Offshore experience. There is little room for an alternative when you are on a 138 ft boat with 35 other people for a month to a year without the option of getting off.
To go through the characteristics of focal points/things/places:
  • Demanding discipline, taking exercise and tiring us out? Most certainly. I was tired at the end of each day and chronically exhausted by the 9 month point. This was not just and, I would venture to say, not always a physical exhaustion. There were times when I just felt like I did not have anything more to give; an emotional and mental exhaustion that really had me questioning my ability to provide for the trainees in the manner I felt I needed/wanted to.
  • Meaningfully connecting? Again, definitely. If I had a dollar for every time someone talked about feeling understood by others on the boat better than they’d ever been before or about being able to know themselves and the people around them more meaningfully then I wouldn’t need to worry about finding part-time work this semester. After all, our ongoing theme throughout Offshore was from Jean Vanier’s book Becoming Human (another one you should read if you haven’t). In it, Vanier talks about being known and that in allowing others to know us by opening our lives, we can achieve real freedom.
  • Reminding us of what is most important in life? Once again, a resounding yes. Many of us came away from Offshore feeling that we had far too many possessions and realizing that these are not the things which are most important. Going back to the previous point, it is the meaningful relationships and other non-tangible things which are important.
I would say that the majority of people who joined us for a part of the Offshore left the boat deeply impacted and, in some way or another, changed. If not than I think they missed a large portion of what it was about. I just wish that I had thought more about Offshore in this fashion before I went so that I could glean even more from it than I did.

Books

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I have a problem. It would seem that I am addicted to reading books, good books. Add that in to the love of learning and I’m hooped. The problem is that whenever I hear something about a particular theory that sounds interesting or a model of doing something is proposed, I have to learn more. As a result I’m constantly looking for books; at least I have been in the last few days. Perhaps it has something to do with being back at school, although none of the subjects I’m looking up have any relation to what I’m learning in classes at the moment.  I am getting quite adept at looking for books on the various library catalogues I have access to, online shopping sites, and online bookstores.

However, all of this skill at finding books does not help my ever-growing list of books I want to read which currently stands at 8.  Add that in to the mix with classes and textbooks to read (for the first time ever I’m up on all my readings for class! Yay me.) and I think I know how I’ll be spending all of my spare time.

Speaking of spare time, I’m going to start working 2 days a week soon.  Finally.  It will be nice to have an income again…!

Dynamics

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I play drop in volleyball every Monday night at the local Rec Centre. It is a sign up thing, so (in theory) there is a capped number of players. This is nice because it means that you don’t end up with situations where you’re sitting waiting to play more than you’re actually playing. We always end up with an interesting mish-mash of players, although there are a few regulars who are there nearly every week. It is interesting to see how the group dynamics can shift so dramatically with the addition/subtraction of one or two people. There is one guy who comes who likes to boss everyone around and consequentially can be annoying… There is another guy who is a goof and nicely lightens the moods although he can slack off in the playing department. I find that my playing really depends on who I am playing with.  I had an off night tonight (no amazing kill shots like last week). Sometimes there is that player with whom you click and you can rely on them to help you get back on your game. Not tonight. It is hard to get your head back into a game that is lacking in intensity. I guess I was a little too frustrated with some of the play. Volleyball is such a mental sport and you really need to be on top of things. In the long run, I enjoy getting out to play a little ball every now and again so I guess I can’t be too choosey about the quality of play!

Tapestry

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I was home long enough this afternoon to catch part of CBC Radio One’s Tapestry and decided I needed to listen to the whole thing. So I downloaded the podcast this evening and listened.  It was an interview with a Mennonite pastor/prof who wrote a book on his experiences doing the Camino del Santiago pilgrimage.  It was very interesting and he had a lot to say that is quite applicable to our everyday lives and the way in which we choose to live them.  If you have a few minutes (well, 50), I’d recommend downloading it and listening.  I jotted down two pages of notes which I am in the process of digesting.

More Decisions

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Re: Decisions, Update, and Strange Turns.

I’ve gotten all of four shifts in my casual position since I started. Four shifts.  I was led to believe that they were in desperate need of people and I had a great chance of getting a reasonable amount of hours.  Apparently not so much.  Either that or the hours they need people for just so happen to be the hours when I’m in classes, meaning that they don’t call.  I did turn down one shift.  Well, two. The first was because they called me to work a time I had already said I couldn’t, so that doesn’t count. The second was a day I said I could work but was still in Vancouver for Christmas.  My fault on that one, though I’d like to blame it on BC Ferries taking a bloody long time to get me home.

The lack of work was fantastic for visiting with family and friends over the Christmas season.  I have been able to go to all of my Christmas parties and able to visit with friends in town only for the holiday season.  On the other hand, the lack of incoming funds is seriously damaging my bank account.  I had to wait a couple days to buy textbooks because I needed to transfer money into my debit account from my savings.  That always hurts.

Speaking of textbooks, I’m taking three classes this semester.  Only one of them I absolutely need (organic chemistry), but the other ones I thought would be quite useful when it comes to nursing: anatomy and biomedical ethics. Knowing about the human body and its systems if fairly useful in the medical profession, or so I’m told.  Not to mention I get to take anatomy with a good offshore buddy.  My ethics text I’ve been able to borrow off of a friend (Thank you, Eric, every penny helps!) but the texts for the other two classes are worth their weight in whatever the most expensive thing imaginable is.  I’m looking at $400 for two classes.  Yikes!  Both profs have said we can use previous editions (so if anyone has Organic Chemistry by McMurry or Anatomy by Martini, Timmons, and Tallitsch kicking around, I will love you forever) but these previous editions are virtually untraceable.  I’ve got my eye on a super cheap copy of Organic Chem at Alibris, but am not sure if I can wait the “7-14 but up to 30 days” shipping.  I’ll have had 2 quizzes by then.  I suppose there is always the library reserve section…

Back to the topic pre-tangent: work.  I went back on the pavement on Monday, applying at a couple places.  One call back thus far (which prompted my embarrassment and a prompt revision of every single version of my resume) for a position which I have a feeling isn’t a great fit for me or them.  So, I have sucked it up, swallowed my pride, and called the place I used to work.  Not the one of the aforementioned decisions, but the one I used to, used to work at when I first moved down to this lovely city.  I’m not really sure why it is even a pride thing except for perhaps I quit and therefore I feel like I can’t ever set foot inside again.  Which is BS, because I have.  I’ve even bought sunglasses there and had them repaired twice (they didn’t like the boat life very much, especially not smashing into the fore boom. Come to think of it, my head didn’t like smashing into the fore boom much either).  The people I worked for and with there were, for the most part, wonderful people.  In fact, I’m still in touch, sporadically, with some (even though they don’t actually work there anymore).

So all of this was to say that perhaps I will join the more regular workforce in the future.  Near future?  I sure hope so.  At any rate, I have learnt a lot about budgeting in the last few weeks/months which is likely a good thing.

Rain Rain Rain

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It has rained a lot in the last few days.  In fact, it has rained so much that there is flooding all over the province.  I mentioned yesterday that I had a class cancelled because of the flooding in Sooke.  It seems that half of the south-west of the Island is shut down because of flooding.  According to CBC Radio this morning, the amount of rain we’ve had in the last few days is comparable to the rain we had in January 2006.  January 2006.  Oh yes, the continuing Saga of the Oil Tank.